locked down light

during my short stint as a practicing criminal defense lawyer, i was moved deeper and learned more profound lessons during my brief moments behind prison walls than i could've imagined possible.

one day driving home from the prison, dudley gray's 'drift away' came on the radio. the lyrics resonated with my ripe feeling of sadness from walking by the hopeless faces of the men behind bars. i felt that sense of caged souls, of forgotten lives that so longed to be free.

years ago, i vividly remember interviewing a client being held on drug charges that was about to be sentenced. my interview was to prepare me to write a sentencing letter to the court, so my questions were aimed to give me a good sense of his whole life, the crime to which he plead guilty, and his feelings about the crime and life after prison. we sat in the small interview room for hours exploring the details of his life: his mother's drug problem, his grandmother's drug problem, the lack of any male role models in his life, the lack of enough food and a clean house to live in during long spans of his childhood.

the thing that moved me the most about his story was his perspective. not even for a moment was there a hint of victimhood in his voice or eyes, or a hidden wish for a different family, a different past, a different lot in life. in some eloquent way that i wish i could recapture, he said that his life made him who he was, and he was grateful for that.

reforming our prisons to be compassionate and healing places isn't just important for the people currently in the prisons; it's important for all of us. so many incredible souls with real contributions to make are caged up in our prisons. so much of our own light is locked down, caught up in a broken system that doesn't restore and reintegrate.

before my more intimate contact with prisons, i assumed that everyone locked up posed a real threat to society, but that belief quickly unraveled. as i got to know more and more inmates, i saw common traits of challenging childhoods, ambitious dreams, and limited options. all this got me wondering what my own ambition would've looked like if i'd been born into a different situation. what choices would i have made if my starting point and my options were so different?

our justice system is far from perfect, and in my opinion, the results are far from really telling us who the "bad guys" are. fear and judgement often keep people from caring about this issue and cause politicians to win points for making the bars stronger and sentences longer, but instead, we need to point out that our current system creates havens of anti-social behavior that increase, not decrease, the likelihood of further crimes and threats to public safety. our system is an endless cycle of ugliness that perpetuates itself, and so many people with so much to contribute are cut off from sharing their light with the rest of us.

the individuals and the stories locked up in our prisons are really part of a much bigger story - one about historical inequality, one about blame, one about poverty, one about judgement, one about government control. the only way that we can heal is to take a real look at what is going on here, be willing to see the truth, and stand up for what we feel is right.