Autonomy and Women

As both a woman and the mother of a woman-to-be, I am deeply interested in issues of gender equality and harmony, and it is actually a somewhat rare occurrence that I find a point of view that really resonates for me in this area.  But recently, two completely different articles crossed my FB newsfeed and stood out: Legalize Polygamy and Freedom Whore (about abortion - warning graphic photo and some strong language in this article).  As you might imagine from the titles, these two articles share little in terms of general flavor, content, or place on the liberal/conservative divide.  And although neither article fully resonated for me, as I read them, I was struck by the common respect for feminine autonomy at the heart of each argument.  

The trend of other people making decisions on behalf of adult women is a vestige of historical inequality.  Although the specifics have changed, the existence of debates around polygamy and abortion illustrate how the dynamic has remained.  It is so easy for us to mentally imagine the choices of abortion or marrying a man that already has a wife (or several) and proclaim ourselves able to make "the right decision" for women generally.  We can get so absorbed in the debate that we overlook the immense difference between this abstract analysis and the actuality of such a decision in an individual woman’s life.   

These debates attempt to override an individual woman's personal calculus.  The back-alley abortions and polygamous marriages in the shadows show the truth: these are and always will be her decisions about her life and her body.  

As long as there is a fight in public about the right decision she should make, her individual autonomy is not fully respected.  The idea of women as a means lurks within both of these issues, yet each woman is more than a means for children and more than a means for progress in the women's movement.  Each woman is an autonomous being in control of her own destiny, no matter the destiny she might choose.  

In the safe place of not having either of these choices before me, I personally feel deeply drawn to choose life and to choose only one marriage partner, but am I really in a position to make either of these choices for another woman, faced with incredibly different circumstances and coming from a completely different history?  When I consider some of the really big differences facing other women who confront these decisions, my own sense of the decision I would make seems completely irrelevant.