originally written for my maternal grandmother - 2/6/2010
My grandmother passed away 2 years ago at age 99, just months before she would’ve become a centenarian. Many who knew her may only remember how nasty and rude she could be, which was unfortunately the side she most often showed in her last years, but, if you had the privilege of seeing beneath that rough exterior, there was quite a woman inside.
The period of time that she always harped on and returned to in story after story was the Great Depression. Seeing the endless lines of people wanting work and food had such a strong impact on her view of the world. She was lucky enough to be employed throughout the Depression by the Philadelphia Wanamakers store, and as her own life and wealth began, she was so impacted by how things were falling apart for the people around her.
It made her shrewd with money and, well, shrewd all around, in the best and worst senses of the word. She was clever and conniving, and always ready to protect herself and her things if necessary. One event which really captures what she’d do to protect her independence happened when she was in her 90s. She had to have her medications doled out by the staff in her retirement home, and she so despised the loss of freedom. In an effort to take the situation into her own hands, she called the pharmacy to order her prescription for herself. She almost pulled it off, but the fake credit card number that she gave them didn’t go through and spoiled her plan. These little borderline criminal activities defined my grandmother in her later years. They drove those who cared for her absolutely nuts, but secretly I always admired her strength and was thoroughly entertained from my vantage point far from the brunt of her wrath.
My grandmother was so truly ahead of her time. She was a strong and independent woman, and she gained the confidence to so thoroughly challenge the world with only an education through middle school. She resented the lost opportunity to attend school because of the need to care for the home and her ailing mother, but for what she didn’t learn in school, she made up for in reading books and in using her own mind to figure out the world. She led her family to financial freedom and paid off every house she ever lived in. She ended up with more than enough money to carry her through her long life. In my opinion, she cracked the code of living with a sense of freedom, something many of us with greater opportunities and education haven’t been able to do. Granted, sometimes it was the freedom to deck a nice lady at the retirement home cocktail hour, but still a sense of freedom nonetheless.
Grandmom has been on my mind this week as I started to crochet a scarf for my daughter. Crocheting was a great love in her life and one that she passed along to me. As I age and crochet when I have time, I understand more and more the peace she got from this simple creative act. During this nostalgic flood of memories that has been coming to the surface, she made a strange but profound reappearance in my life today.
This morning I got a message from a lawyer looking for me. The lawyer told me that savings bonds had been found underneath some floor boards in my grandmother's old bank. They are dated spanning the time before my birth up until the year I was born, and on them is my name and the city where my family lived when I was born. There was also an alternate beneficiary whose last name is my grandmother’s maiden name. It’s still not at all clear that these savings bonds are in fact for me, although the coincidences are mounting to the point that it seems they must be. Being dated before I was born is more than a bit strange, but somehow it doesn't seem impossible considering my grandmother. This is just the sort-of wacky thing that happened with some frequency when she was alive.
I miss her, and this weird situation feels like her way of reaching out to show that she still has the power to stir up some crazy, even from the Great Beyond. Today I'm feeling grateful for the chance to see her at work once again.
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