without fear of hypocrisy

in the wake of the hands across the sand gathering, i felt inspired and connected to the other people reaching for a different relationship with the earth, oil, and the oceans. then, yesterday as i surfed the web, i read some of the comment strings following the stories about this global movement, and my spirits fell.

in the comments, there was a theme of accusations against those calling for clean energy by intimating that they had no right because they drove their cars to the beach, used cell phones, or drank out of plastic water bottles. it saddened me that others sat in such harsh judgment of people peacefully speaking out with their hope for a new way of relating to the earth. the beautiful message of the hands across the sand gatherings being so misunderstood was a let-down to say the least.

and, i am just the hypocrite those comments accuse. i drove to our event over the rio grande, had a cell phone in my purse, and even had a disposable plastic water bottle. even though i'm guilty to the core of living in this oil driven society, i don't understand why this means i should've stayed home.

the truth about so many of the deepest problems facing humanity is that it isn't so easy to stop our participation and support. i'd love to drive an electric car, independent of oil, but for one, the electric car was so mysteriously pulled off the market years ago (check out who killed the electric car to hear the story), and two, we don't currently have the money for a hybrid. these cars are on my radar for sure, but since so many green alternatives simply cost more, does that mean only those that can afford windmills and hybrids have the right to say anything?

i also generally carry reusable water bottles, but this saturday we couldn't find one before we left, so we bought some water on our way. should we have been so ashamed of not finding our water bottle that we went thirsty; should our shame become our silence?

i'll be the first to admit that i'm not living my ideal life. i make choices on the fly, like buying a plastic bottle of water, and i sacrifice my ideals for the practical reality of my life, like having a car to take me into the city. i could have a smaller footprint, but i don't. no explanation, no excuse. i see the blood on my hands, and that is exactly why i chose to participate in hands across the sand.

the story is the same with so many other issues. we support the big food industry, no matter how much we may disagree with the misleading labels or the inhumane treatment of animals. we support the violence of war through our tax dollars, no matter the strength with which we may hold pacifist ideals. maybe other people do better, and maybe we could be better. maybe we could be more informed and disciplined shoppers; maybe we could live off the land and avoid income tax; or maybe, we could accept that we're human.

we could forgive ourselves for making choices for our comfort. we could do our best, and let it empower us that we could still find places to do better. we could stand up for the societal changes that would support us in making personal and collective changes toward the world we most hope to live in.

this is not to say that the full integration of principle and action isn't a beautiful thing to strive for. this little story paints that picture:
a mother waited in line with her son to speak to mahatma gandhi. when it was her turn, she asked him to tell her son to stop eating salt because he had a health condition that was worsened when he ate salt. gandhi told her to leave and return in two weeks. when the mother and son returned, gandhi looked into the boys eyes and told him not to eat salt. the mother then asked why he couldn't have just said this two weeks ago, and gandhi responded, "because two weeks ago, i was eating salt."

to be a leader, it is so important to integrate beliefs into actions, and the great extent of this integration in gandhi that's demonstrated in this story points out why he was such an effective and inspiring leader.

but, i think it equally important to recognize that we don't all have to have the discipline exercised by gandhi to have a hand in change. with so much conflicting information and our hurried modern lives, it's not always easy to align principle and action. we can only do the best that we can, and no one else is in the position to judge our best. when we get caught in a tangle of judgment, shame, and holding ourselves to such high standards, we can become impotent, but there is a more empowering perspective.

just being part of this interconnected societal web, i participate in all sorts of things that i don't agree with, but instead of silencing me, i allow my personal sense of responsibility to motivate me. rumi said, "out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. i will meet you there," and to me this field is a powerful place. no matter where you shop, what you do for a living, or what you drive, you are always welcome in this field. it's in this field where we can release the fear of being a hypocrite and its attendant paralysis, and we can authentically stand up for what we wish to see in our world.

in that spirit, i would join hands with anyone standing up for the transition of our oil economy to a clean energy economy. everyone's hope and willingness for change matters, and those making some of the most harmful unconscious choices are sitting upon some of the biggest potential impact. by coming together instead of judging each other, we have the best chance to redirect the course of humanity towards a truly sustainable human race. in my opinion, that hope is much more important than the ability to save face by staying home.